Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Octomom Gets Eaten by Octopus: Film at 11!

purple octopusApril Fool's!

All kidding aside, enough is enough already. I don't think a day has gone by without the world being fed news about a woman whose greatest accomplishment is unloading 8 babies from her vagina at a time. Not sure what's worse: Incessant news stories about Octomom or the nonstop international news stories regarding the Twittering activity of celebs like music heartthrob John Mayer and singer/actress Courtney Love.

Anywho, since Octomom is a story that just won't die (unless someone carries out their threats against her), here are some of my provoking thoughts about Nadia Sudafed (or whatever her name is) that might actually make for good Twittering, but since I do not consider myself much of a twit, I'll put it on my blog instead.

Octomom now has 14 kids and Save the Children UK has the gall to bitch and moan about Madonna adopting ONE more kid from impoverished Malawi. What's up with that?

Of course, slick, butch lawyeress Gloria Allwrong manages to find her way into any event that is this huge. To her credit, however, she is on the correct side in this battle; making sure that the welfare of these 8 children is protected by the appropriate child service agencies.

Without further adieu:

Crusader's Octomom Top 10

10) Will the Octobabies have a genetic propensity to also have multiple babies in one sitting?

9) Eight is Enough, but she has 14 kids already!

8) After having 8 babies at basically the same time, Octomom's whatsit must be so stretched out that no man will ever be intimate with her again!

7) What ever happened to the one-baby-per-vagina-per-day rule?

6) Why abortion education should be mandatory in school, beginning in kindergarten!

5) This lady unloaded more fallout than the A-bomb at Hiroshima.

4) Octomom's "exit wound" of her whatsit has got to be bigger and wider than anything caused from a round of AK-47 bullets!

3) I have loggers that weigh more than any of her babies at birth.

2) Gives an entirely new meaning to Octopussy.

And, finally, No. 1:
If God wanted women to have 8 babies at one time, she would have given women 8 tits for breastfeeding and a larger vagina. Duh!