9) Since a real witch might have problems hooking up for sexual relations, masturbation might be very important.
8) A real witch definitely does not wear white pearls with a black dress.
7) Historically speaking, homosexuals are huge fans of real witches, but they don't care for O'Donnell, so she can't be for real.
6) A real witch isn't as scary as O'Donnell serving in the Senate.
5) A real witch would take pride in her witchery and never say "I'm not a witch."
4) A real witch would never go to a tea party, since a witch prefers witch's brew.
3) A real witch knows that the freedom to cast spells and make potions is not protected by the First Amendment.
2) A real witch knows that "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" is a movie, not a case heard by the U.S. Supreme Court.
And, finally, the Number 1 reason why Christine O'Donnell is not a real witch:
A real witch uses a broomstick for transportation, whereas Christine O'Donnell shoved a broomstick so far up her ass that it caused permanent brain damage!