Top 10 Reasons Why Christine O'Donnell is Not a Real Witch

10) A real witch pays for his/her own stuff, while O'Donnell steals campaign funds to pay for her stuff.

9) Since a real witch might have problems hooking up for sexual relations, masturbation might be very important.

8) A real witch definitely does not wear white pearls with a black dress.

7) Historically speaking, homosexuals are huge fans of real witches, but they don't care for O'Donnell, so she can't be for real.

6) A real witch isn't as scary as O'Donnell serving in the Senate.

5) A real witch would take pride in her witchery and never say "I'm not a witch."

4) A real witch would never go to a tea party, since a witch prefers witch's brew.

3) A real witch knows that the freedom to cast spells and make potions is not protected by the First Amendment.

2) A real witch knows that "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" is a movie, not a case heard by the U.S. Supreme Court.

And, finally, the Number 1 reason why Christine O'Donnell is not a real witch:

A real witch uses a broomstick for transportation, whereas Christine O'Donnell shoved a broomstick so far up her ass that it caused permanent brain damage!